Baby bashed - Being surprised by a new baby

Baby bashed is what happens when you are bashed...by a baby. Don't understand? Well going from carefree and all-knowing to frumpy, grose and crazy in seconds flat. You are baby bashed when you go from sort of liking the people around to being head over heels in love with your creation. Baby bashed happens when you realize that you didn't know anything until the moment you became a parent!

I became baby bashed May 11, 2007. After a long pregnancy I went through a very traumatic, PND inducing Caesarian section (that's a whole other story). I realized that the tons of advice, research and tips amounted to absolutely nothing! In the past 6 months I've learned more by experience than I had in my entire life preparing to be a mom! I also found that unsolicited advice is the most annoying and, in my case, life threatening entity in existence!

I'm put together this page to provide timely insights into being a new mom. Basically what every mom knows but will never tell you! I became so angry talking to my mom and friend about the things that were driving me crazy about being a new mom and they said "I know! It happens." I thought to myself; "If you knew then for Goodness sake why you didn't drop that in with all the rest of your useless ramblings?" I would have felt much better knowing that I was not alone in what I had been going through

Enough raging on from me. Here you go. Painstakingly and lovingly put together. Things I wish I was told about being Baby Bashed!

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• Most important: Every new mom/dad has felt like harming their child in some way! It does not make you a monster or any worse of a mom. We are animals and animals eat their young for a reason. We are however more enlightened than the common beast. We LOVE our babies and there is nothing that can supersede that!
• At the end of it all, YOU and YOU alone are responsible for your bundle of joy. Any decision that is made regarding his/her welfare or health is to be made taking any recommendation under advisement. The determining factor here is your instinct.
• You must put your foot down the minute you feel someone is trying to take over the raising of your child. If you don't you will feel incompetent and useless in your baby's life. You cannot be feeling that way if you are going to be an efficient parent.
• Any unsolicited advice should be taken with a smile and a nod. If the adviser is being a bit to forceful with their opinion STOP THEM IMMEDIATLY! Everybody around you needs to understand point 2.
• If you are concerned about anything, I mean anything, that a friend or family member is doing don't be afraid to speak up. Their feelings will heal quicker than your baby. Remember, your baby is and always will be paramount!
• Nannies! Oh Nannies! The trial and error method does not work here! If it doesn't work out the first time don't keep trying until you find the right one. I've just recently realized that I am not going to put my baby through a million incompetent nannies just for my convenience. If he is unhappy with one, chances are the rest will be the same or worse. Nobody will take care of your baby better than you or a blood relative.
• Doctor's counsel is best. Rather trust a professional than going with old wives tales. Whenever my mom tries to argue what the paed has told me I ask her to present me her PhD. She never has.
• During maternity leave you become really depressed and lonely. A site that really helped me through this time was www.pampers.co.za. Their babychat forum is extremely informative and the users are very warm, helpful and experienced. You can chat here even before you become a mom/dad. There are pregnancy, birth, nutrition and development forums with thousands of helpful hints and best of all these people aren't interested in force feeding you their advice!
• I remember reading somewhere that for the first few years of a babys life they only have one love object, typically the mother. This, I have come to realise, is not as sweet as it sounds. At times it can become exceedingly difficult to take some time out for yourself, which is crucial to your sanity, without baby hollering for you. One thing that you need to remember is that it is not babies fault nor is he being selfish, he doesnt know what that is. Just relax and be with your baby for as long as he needs. You will find that when you are relaxed you and baby enjoy each others company incredibly and he will be more ammenable to being without you for a while after.

♣ Oh man! Thank you so much for entertaining my ramblings. Its been great to vent. Remember, this page is put together for moms,dads,guardians and anyone else involved in the care of a child. I will never stop being a parent so please check back regularly for updates. Also dont neglect to check out the other cool links on the page. Send me your comments,critiques or requests. Keep in touch and stay sane.

Bright Blessings on you and your families

The Chica! ♣